The reality of it all

Ok, now it’s kicked me in the teeth.

Tonight I sat in a room while people told me what would happen if the absolute worst happened.

I sat there listening to the Officer tell us about the underhanded tactics that the media uses to get the story. Stories of the media beating the Assistance Officer to your door to inform you that your life has changed forever.

I sat there and listened to them tell me the monetary value on my husbands life, to ensure wills, power of attorneys and proper insurance is in place.

I sat there while they told me the best way to arrange the funeral, to discuss what he would want, to think about if I would want the media there.

I sat there while one of the support agencies stood there and tried to tell me that we’re all one big happy family and we should all get together regularly to discuss our feelings and sing songs while holding hands.

I sat there with my fists clenched, my jaw tight and barely holding back the tears. Silently screaming “FUCK YOU” in my head, trying hard not to run out of that room lock myself in my bedroom and cry until I puke.